This week isn't going to be about a book, it's a quilt week y'all. The quilt this week is for one of the amazing ladies I became friends with while I was in nursing school. There were six of us that became a little group. We would study, cry, drink and try to get through this nightmare of nursing school together. They are some of most driven amazing ladies I have even met. Their passion to become an RN knew no bounds. Through changes of the whole nursing program and instructors going out of their way to ruin our lives five of the six of us are now RNs. I am the only one that didn't finish. I was twenty-nine years old with a two and a half year old. I have a reading and spelling disability and a husband. The longer I was in the program, the deeper I became depressed. I have never thought of harming myself, but during this nursing program I started thinking that my husband and son would just be better off if I wasn't in their lives. I was missing whole sections of my son's life because even if I was home with him. I would be doing homework or studying and studying and did I mention reading three hundred pages of readings a week. If I had figured out earlier in life I wanted to become a nurse, before kids and a husband and life happened, maybe I could have made it through nursing school, but that wasn't what happened. In some of my darkest days, I mean deeper depression then even when I lost my own mom, something happened. Maybe God or the universe or something else made it possible for me to be carry my second child. We hadn't been trying and it came as a total surprise, but we were going to have another little person in our lives. It's rather funny/weird in a way that we have been trying for over a year and a half and haven't been lucky enough to have another little human in our lives right now, and when we weren't even trying we made the most amazing little girl. I truly believe that our daughter came about because I needed to open my eyes. Something had to change, and after talking to my husband only about thirty million times I told him I needed to be done with this journey. Not once did he tell me what to do. He only was a sounding board to let me bounce ideas off of. I really hope I would have made a good nurse if I would have pursued that line of work, but maybe I would have been crap at it. Who knows? What I do know is that I don't regret quitting. I know I can be the woman (mom, wife, friend, Christian, human) I want to be. I also know that I would trust everyone of those ladies with my life and all of my loved ones lives as well. They are all amazing individuals and I am insanely proud of all of them. I hope to God they also like all the baby quilts I have made for them as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment