Week 8: The Witches of Eastwick

This week's book:
The Witches of Eastwick
By John Updike

It's October, which, if you ask any sane person, is the best month of the year. There is a chill in the air without being too  cold. You can wear hoodies and those amazing Boris Karloff Frankenstein  legging that you just bought. The leaves change to beatiful colors that make you want to take family photos and pretend your children will play nicely while throwing leaves in the air. Everything is pumpkin flavored and so yummy. You can watch football and cuddle up under a warm quilt and enjoy a good book all at the same time! But most importantly, there is Halloween and my birthday within six days of each other.

When I was young I always thought I loved Halloween so much because it was so stinking close to my birthday, it's not true. Halloween is just the best holiday EVER. The stores could have Halloween decorations out all year and I would be completely ok with it. It's a holiday all about dressing up and getting candy, how is there any question of it being the best holiday of the year? No one should have to work or go to school that day.

Because of the way I feel about this amazing month I will be reading "scary" books all month. I will be honest when I say I can't do gore or truly scary stuff anymore, nor could I really ever. I have always been a cheesy, campy Halloween kind of gal. Hocus Pocus, Sleepy Hollow, and a whole lot more campy movies are watched every year by the hubby and I. Yes, I was very lucky enough to marry an amazing man that not only loves me despite my desire to still dress up, he encourages it. Family themed costumes all the way. (Last year was star wars). Our babies love Halloween too and I promise they came by it naturally. Little man has been asking when he can go trick or treating again since November 2nd of last year. Our two year old princess yells everytime we go to the store "mommy look, look mommy! Halloween" to all the decorations.

Do you think I have driven in the point enough of how much I flipping love Halloween yet? Which brings us to the book this week...which was Witches of Eastwick by the two time pulitzer prize winning John Updike. I have loved the movie version for what, like, forever? It stars Jack Nicholson, Cher, Susan Sarandon, and Michelle Pfeiffer. Umm, there are a about a million Oscars between those actors and the movie is one of those 1980's classics that can't ever be topped because it's actually really dreadful.

Well I should have taken it as a bad sign that my copy of the book has been sitting on the bottom shelf of my bookshelf for I have no idea how long. I mean, I know I have moved twice since I bought it, and we have been living in our house for over four years. The author is very good at drawing a picture of everything other than a plot. The three witches are these catty divorcees that hate their children and their lives. There is no plot and the three ladies are sleeping with EVERYONE in the town for no reason because they don't even like the men. I can't even explain the plot because I wouldn't even begin to know how to start. Apparently, there is a sequel, which I have no idea how it could have come about because the ending is pretty cut and dry. The author had 75% of the plot in the last ten pages.

I'm sure you can already tell that there is no chance that I can recommend this book to read. Nope nope nope!