Week 2: The Princess and the Beast

This week's book:
The Princess and the Beast
By Chance Carter

Have you ever bought a book thinking it was a romance novel based on your favorite Disney movie as a kid and it turns out to be WAY to graphic for your taste and the fifth book of a series and you didn't realize until you were over half way done with it? Nope neither have I.....Hahaha.

My little man starts kindergarten and I think to myself "Girl you loved Beauty and the beast as a kid, this looks like an adult version of that. Go ahead and read some mind candy to distract yourself." I am here to tell you that the book was nothing like my beloved movie from childhood. I loved Belle as a kid and until my Hubs said "a brunette that love to read that doesn't take any flack, sounds like someone I know". I never knew why I had loved it so much so long ago. Yes it was Adult as all get out but that's about it were the similarities end. It was soo nasty.

Now dear reader I am so stranger to the genre. I read 50 shades and the Calendar Girl series by Audrey Carlan, which was pretty good (Calendar Girl not 50 shades of domestic abuse). It got to the point I would want the plot to pick up again instead of more explanation of whatever sexual act the main characters were engaging in.

Right about now would also be a good time to add that the this book was self published by the author. I didn't know this at the time when I bought it online and probably would have passed if I had known. If you don't know what that self publishing is, it's a way an author can get his manuscript out for people to read when they haven't gotten it published by a publisher. While sometimes amazing books are made this way, it also means there is no editor to tell the author that some ideas aren't so great. Also it should also be noted that the author is a man, take that as you will.

But back to the book, I  had no idea what was going on because, like I said, it took me over half the book to figure out that it was the fifth book of the series. Those Wimpy Kid book (and I think Harry Potter series if I am not mistaken) have the book number right on the spine so we idiots know which books comes next in order. Help a sleep deprived mother out.

One of the other compliants of this book would be that the plot was more or less just rolling around in the sheets. Such senes were filled with foul language and really graphic terms for a book that is a "romance". Now don't get me wrong, I am known to cuss like a sailor, but this book put any normal sailor to shame. When trying to write about the human form or express how two people are falling in love, an author should widen his vocabulary further than what one reads in a men's room truck stop (no I am not hanging out at the Love's station on 65).

The next problem with this book (but really any romance novel is guilty of this); who possibly can spend that much time in bed or wherever the scene is set and not need to sleep, go to some kind of job, eat, shower, or let's be honest seek medical attention from said physical activity? I mean these characters are so busy "making out" they don't need any other life essentials? And don't get me started on falling in love in less then twenty-four hours and riding off into the sunset with a guy who has just killed all these people and has no remorse.....ummm no thanks. Ok, murder part isn't in all of them but the rest of those are true.

But the mack Daddy biggest problem with this book is that it jumps for two storylines that don't seem to match at all. One is your basic romance novel, both people are pretty nice and fall for each other blah blah blah, but the other plot is a guy who picks up a girl at a bar and ends up a baby daddy to a meth addict he kinda kidnaps to take into the woods to detox. Yeah who thought that was a good idea to put into a romance novel?

So I wouldn't recommend it, unless you want to read the first four books in the series first. If you want to waste time and have an Amazon account where you could read it for nothing,  then knock yourself out.

So there it is week two in the books so to speak. Hope you enjoyed this post and come back next week!