Week 3: Big Fish

This week's book:
Big Fish
By Daniel Wallace

I am going to be honest here. I ended up being at some sort of car dealership three days in a row last week, which was, of course, right smack dab in the middle of our little princess's nap time. This led to three days of no naps for a tired two year old and a Mama who didn't have a moment to sit down to ride the stationary bike or read. Long story short, Big Fish was this week's book due to length. It's only 180 pages long so it's a pretty quick read...for most people.

I picked up the book at Goodwill a while ago. You will see a trend that i love buying books at Goodwill, but HATE HATE HATE buying books full price. There is a reason there is a free library in my front yard....free books, DUH! I'm only kidding, I wanted the kids and adults in our neighborhood to read more. But anyway, Big Fish was siting on the shelf at good old GW and I thought, "hey, you liked that movie like fifteen years ago maybe the book is even better." And there is where that thought ended for a while.

Do you ever read in the bathroom or check your phone or, I don't know, multi-task in any form while doing your business? Well, years ago, before children and when I was in college, I would read when I was doing my thang. I never had time to freely read because I was always studying....like always. But I would allow myself to freely read when using the loo. Due to children never letting me go "potty" by myself (the myth is real, guys, never do I go to the bathroom by myself, EVER) and the fact that they love to throw things into the toilet, I had to carve out other times of the day to read. It's now normally the ten minutes the hubby is rocking my daughter to sleep at night after i have read the Pout Pout Fish and Good Night Moon for the hundredth time. For this manner of reading, it needs to be a book with short chapters or chapters that are broken into parts. Stand-up comedians' books are the best for this style of reading, but Big Fish worked too.

If you don't know the plot of big fish, here it is. The author's father is a kind of traveling salesmen. The father tells great tall tales and makes people laugh. If I am going to be honest, it's sweet that the author wrote this book, because if you ask me the dad is a poop who never is home, and when he is around he's telling "tales". The father is dying of cancer and the son moves home to spend time with his dad or help his mom, it isn't clear in the book.

As an endorsement if you should read the book, I don't know. I know people say "oh the book was better" but in this case it's not true. I love Tim Burton and Ewen McGregor so very much and they are what makes the story work. Tim Burton makes weird, amazing movies, and this film is understated but still magical and moving. The book is a bit disjointed and hard to follow, and not in a fun way, but in a way which makes it hard to find the book's magic. It's going into the Little Free Library right after I finish writing this.

Week 2: The Princess and the Beast

This week's book:
The Princess and the Beast
By Chance Carter

Have you ever bought a book thinking it was a romance novel based on your favorite Disney movie as a kid and it turns out to be WAY to graphic for your taste and the fifth book of a series and you didn't realize until you were over half way done with it? Nope neither have I.....Hahaha.

My little man starts kindergarten and I think to myself "Girl you loved Beauty and the beast as a kid, this looks like an adult version of that. Go ahead and read some mind candy to distract yourself." I am here to tell you that the book was nothing like my beloved movie from childhood. I loved Belle as a kid and until my Hubs said "a brunette that love to read that doesn't take any flack, sounds like someone I know". I never knew why I had loved it so much so long ago. Yes it was Adult as all get out but that's about it were the similarities end. It was soo nasty.

Now dear reader I am so stranger to the genre. I read 50 shades and the Calendar Girl series by Audrey Carlan, which was pretty good (Calendar Girl not 50 shades of domestic abuse). It got to the point I would want the plot to pick up again instead of more explanation of whatever sexual act the main characters were engaging in.

Right about now would also be a good time to add that the this book was self published by the author. I didn't know this at the time when I bought it online and probably would have passed if I had known. If you don't know what that self publishing is, it's a way an author can get his manuscript out for people to read when they haven't gotten it published by a publisher. While sometimes amazing books are made this way, it also means there is no editor to tell the author that some ideas aren't so great. Also it should also be noted that the author is a man, take that as you will.

But back to the book, I  had no idea what was going on because, like I said, it took me over half the book to figure out that it was the fifth book of the series. Those Wimpy Kid book (and I think Harry Potter series if I am not mistaken) have the book number right on the spine so we idiots know which books comes next in order. Help a sleep deprived mother out.

One of the other compliants of this book would be that the plot was more or less just rolling around in the sheets. Such senes were filled with foul language and really graphic terms for a book that is a "romance". Now don't get me wrong, I am known to cuss like a sailor, but this book put any normal sailor to shame. When trying to write about the human form or express how two people are falling in love, an author should widen his vocabulary further than what one reads in a men's room truck stop (no I am not hanging out at the Love's station on 65).

The next problem with this book (but really any romance novel is guilty of this); who possibly can spend that much time in bed or wherever the scene is set and not need to sleep, go to some kind of job, eat, shower, or let's be honest seek medical attention from said physical activity? I mean these characters are so busy "making out" they don't need any other life essentials? And don't get me started on falling in love in less then twenty-four hours and riding off into the sunset with a guy who has just killed all these people and has no remorse.....ummm no thanks. Ok, murder part isn't in all of them but the rest of those are true.

But the mack Daddy biggest problem with this book is that it jumps for two storylines that don't seem to match at all. One is your basic romance novel, both people are pretty nice and fall for each other blah blah blah, but the other plot is a guy who picks up a girl at a bar and ends up a baby daddy to a meth addict he kinda kidnaps to take into the woods to detox. Yeah who thought that was a good idea to put into a romance novel?

So I wouldn't recommend it, unless you want to read the first four books in the series first. If you want to waste time and have an Amazon account where you could read it for nothing,  then knock yourself out.

So there it is week two in the books so to speak. Hope you enjoyed this post and come back next week!

52 weeks, 52 books. Here we go!

I did it guys! I'm staring this blog on the day our oldest child started kindergarten. I thought it would be a great distraction from being worried about him and get used to being home with only one little one at home instead of two.

When I started thinking about what I wanted to talk about on this blog, I thought I should talk about what I love.......reading. However, reading is a broad topic, so I thought I would give myself a weekly deadline. Once a week, I will post about a book. 52 books in 52 weeks.

Do you think I can do it? Am I crazy, or more crazy then I was already? Two kids five and under, one amazing understanding husband and a million other things I should be doing, but here we go.

52 books in one year.

Eeek!